will i always wait..?

im sad...
tears falling..
its raining again today.. =''(
i tried my best.. not to think of you..
and yet i failed!!
i hate my feeling..
im missing you
and im weak..

the hardest part was to wait till..
you finaly have time for me..
i keep waiting..
and yeaahhh no matter
how tired i was...
i cant sleep...
i only see you
i hatwe that...
and to night...
you showed me..
that you wont have
any quality time for me...
and i know..
im no one..
so why should you spare a time
for me...
like always..
i will take what ever left...

and im sad today..
real sad...
like everyday..
and when will this stop...
it feels like
i wanna end my life..
i cant stand it..

i needed you today..
and you wont be here with me...
and i deserve it..
couldnt ask for more..
i can only cry my heart out while writing this blog
like always...

i'll keep this in mind..
i hope it will help me to go thru the day..
"you dont love, you dont care"
"im nobody to you.. never will be"
"you have better things to do then be here with me"
and im gonna accept the fact that..
im no longer important in your life

i wish i have the answer to all of these..
and stop the pain..