you're gone

i feel it so deep in me...
and i cant feel you..
you're gone now...
i dont know how...
and when...?
but one thing for sure
you're not the one i used to know...
why do you have to change..
and throw it all away...
have you ever feel this?
the feeling of losing someone...

im in the dark
as my sunshine went away..
and im telling that this is the worst feeling i
have ever felt..
how can you act like there's nothing..
when what we ever shared is everything to me...
and i cant change it anymore...
im sick!!!!
i hate you....
you threw it all away..
you searching for the best...?
im telling you...
that i'll be the only person in this world who can love you the best..
beside your mum....
im so mad at you...
why.. do we have to love in the first place if..
we know.. we wont appreciate it in the end..
this is love we're dealing with...
its important.. darn important..
you dont take it as a game...
this heart that speaks...
it is crying now....
and now...
you cant see...
and i dont want you to realize it when it is too late...

i hate wasting my life with someone else..
and i want it to be you!!!!

what i see in you now:
you have no heart..
you dont care how i might feel..
you dont love me anymore..
you're not the person i used to know..
you've change...

i never stop writing about how i feel...
but will you ever understand.. and i wish i can force you just to be with me..
i feel as if im dying when you're not around...
how can i make you understand...
i cant live without you.. and i really need you to love me...
love me like you used to...
there's nothing i want more than you..
and im ready to give up on everything for you...
i love you...
and this pain wont ever stop.. till im in your arms again...

its like i have this sickness of my own.. if your not around..
so damn weak.. i dont want to move..
only death will stop me...
i cant write things that i dont mean..
but here my sincerity of love..
never been given to one but you...
it must be easy for you.. just to live your life..
i know.. i used to live my life that way...
because i know.. life goes on..
and there will always something new coming your way...
but i know for me.. your the best thing that ever happened..
and if i let you go... and give up loving.. i wont find another..
i dont want to missed the a moment with you...
i cant carry on without you....

please dont change.. because i cant change anymore...
please realize that this wont happen for the second time...
dont wasted... i wanna live with you...
you'ere different now...
and i feel that you're gone....
i want my sunshine back....
please bring my sunshine back...
i want you like before...
please love.....
there's nothing i could say.. or do.. to have you back...
as my sunshine...
but i'll die trying!!!
because one thing for sure...
this is love im feeling....
please remember the love we used to share...

they can call me crazy..
yes i am... im crazy loving you...
and im dying without you....
i am.. i cant do anything right...
i want you...
i guess you wont feel a thing
when you read this blog...
because.. the feeling has fade...
is it?
and it kills me knowing that you dont love that much..
that you're moving on..
and you can always live without me...
i cant judge whats fair.. and unfair anymore...
but i need you.. to need me....
i wanna be the important person in your life...
i wanna be there for you..
i dont wanna be replaced..
i dont.. i dont want you to love someone new...
i want you to love me...
why do you have to change?
i hate the feeling of losing your love...
i wish i die.. instantly....
when you dont love me anymore...
all i care about.. is you...
your love is everything i ever wanted...
trust my feeling...

i wish you'll love me....
and realize that love conquers all..
dont leave me...
dont go away...

LONGING FOR YOUR LOVE

i love you too much, and i cant explain..
and i made this blog as a dedication to you..
to show you that i love you... to prove to you that
my life filled with the thoughts of you..
and my love is as bright as the sun...
and today i dont know where to start...
i miss us.. i miss you...
i feel like youre away from me now..
its like youre almost gone...
i dont know why am i feeling this way...
could it be because of the fights..??
baby, im seeing it now...
it clearer.. that we're no longer together..
i hate to realize it..
and now im feeling it...
my love longing for you.. no one else but you..
im too scared that you'll walk away someday...
i hate to see you leave... but you have already left..
i just forgot about that...
i want you to stay... forever..
i know you could never promise me that...
and when i told you that im scared that you'll leave..
i wanna hear you say.."i wont ever leave you"
but i know its too much for you to say it..
and i understand...
im living in this pain.. and im used to it..
i dont care how many time youre gonna hurt me...
as long as i can stay...
i know i've been complaining about the pain you put me through..
but honestly, i rather stay that way.. then to be away from you..
i wanna feel your love.. i wanna see it.. i wanna have..
and i never want to give it up...
i will give everything for your love...
if i can trade my life for your love..
i would..i swear i would.. cause there's nothing more i want other than your love..

and when i told you to stop contacting me till i come and look for you..
it was not the best thing to do..
because to be close to you is the most important thing to me..
but i just need to thing..
pull myself back together.. i wanna take control of myself..
its not because i wanna forget love.. or you..
because i know i couldnt.. and if i could.. i dont want to...
i just want us to appreciate every moment that we have...
because i dont know how long youre willing to stay...
i dont know what to feel now.. its almost empty..
i miss the love you gave me.. i want it back so badly...
i wanna be the special one for you...
i want you to love me like you mean it..
i want you to want me...
because i love you

i havent write for the past few weeks..
its i forgot.. or i dont have things to write about you..
i do.. have alot to write about you.. and how i feel for you..
it will never stop..
but i didnt write.. because youre there with me...
and you bring me happiness although we always fight...

i almost lost my mind nowadays..
and that why i need you even more now...
i cant turn to someone else.. it wont be the same...
honestly..
theres only one person that can make me feel better..
and its you.. that is how important you are to me....
people can tell me what to do.. but my heart wont listen..
they dont know you the way i do...
someone told me.. that you'll leave ne in the end..
if i didnt leave you now.. i might get even hurt in the future..
maybe...
but how if i just wait...
i dont care anymore, if i will get hurt by you someday..
because.. i cant fight this feeling and if i do try to fight it..
it is even hurt.. and i will failed...

my wish is for you to love me..
sincerely, without any condition...
protect me.. i cant take care of myself...
i need you.. and please need me..
i will always be there for you...
i wont ask for anyone else other than you...
not even in my dream...
"love conquers everything"
why cant i win your love..?
why i could never be the want you want to spend your life with?
and i wanna be the one who you wake up yo every morning..
i wanna be the one who witness your life.. your happiness..
i wanna witness every moment of yours...
i cant let someone else to replace me..
i cant witness you having a new life with someone else...
because i know im the one who saw you shine..
how could you let someone else take that away from me..

i really miss you...
the one i love...